Embracing the ‘soft front, strong back’ leadership style

What do you think of when asked to imagine a leader? Probably your big boss, someone decisive, authoritative, comfortable with power and hierarchy, competitive and with a strong track record of delivering results. However, from my experience managing teams and being managed by others, I know how difficult it is to find a boss who is also a good leader. 

By ‘good leader’, I mean someone who knows how to share power and responsibilities, who values trust, respect and the wellbeing of employees. Someone who possesses clear values that underpin their leadership decisions and ground them when leading by example. Someone who knows how to inspire others and dedicate time to helping employees reach their full potential, ultimately transforming them into leaders. And, most of all, a good leader should possess emotional intelligence: being empathetic, listening to and being ready to learn from everyone – no matter their role, not fearing showing doubt or vulnerability in their team and being bold in encouraging others to do the same. 

So, why are these leaders so rare while bad bosses are everywhere? For far too long we have associated leadership with the traits of a ‘strong boss’ rather than those of the ‘good leader’. We have promoted individuals who never show doubt over those who do, those who make decisions in isolation instead of consulting their team to ensure the best possible outcome, and those who seek authority over people rather than those who are capable of exercising power collaboratively. This egotistical interpretation of leadership is now demonstrating its consequences: wars, climate change and increasing polarisation, to name a few. In other words, we have long associated leadership with our ‘strong back’ instead of our ‘soft front’ – borrowing a metaphor from Roshi Joan Halifax, an American ecologist, anthropologist, civil rights activist and Buddhist teacher. 

Christiana Figueres, a former top UN diplomat and the leader behind the groundbreaking 2015 Paris Climate Agreement, first introduced me to this powerful metaphor as we exchanged our views on how to redefine leadership for my book, Leading Our Way. “Leadership should be seen as a balancing act of our strong back with our soft front, our empathy, our attention to others and to the impact we are having on the planet,” said Figueres. 

So how can we embrace such a leadership style to deliver better outcomes for our companies and communities?

Leveraging your strong back for good

A strong back is an essential part of leadership. In today’s world, though, it is often associated with rules, control and authority. What if we could reimagine how we leverage the strong back approach? It could be the part of us that holds us firmly grounded in our principles, “the lighting and guiding star”, said Figueres – that gives us the drive to deliver results and bring the best of ourselves into our role. Leadership is in dire need of values in today’s world, to give us direction and purpose to our work. Leverage your ‘strong back’ to perform, lead your teams and take bold decisions, but also to ground your leadership in principles and inspire others to do the same. 

Uncovering your soft front

We all know that life and work are never a straight line from A to B. Rather, they resemble a meandering river, complete with rocks, twists and turns. While our strong back establishes the overall direction, navigating this river requires flexibility, empathy, emotional intelligence and the capacity to express and manage our vulnerabilities if we hope to reach our goals. This constitutes the soft front, which is rarely associated with our standard definition of leadership but is always present when we think of the truly great leaders of our time.

Even today, our company cultures tend to discourage emotions and flexibility, valuing authority over emotional intelligence. This approach promotes ‘bad bosses’ rather than ‘good leaders’. Reconnecting with your soft front and encouraging your team and company to do the same is a fundamental step in redefining what leadership looks and acts like. However, it doesn’t end there. Leveraging the soft front leads to better decision making and results. As Figueres stated: “It is by showing my emotions, by crying in front of world leaders in the midst of deadlocked climate change negotiations, that I created a sense of urgency for all those sitting at the table.” Without her ability to balance the strong back and soft front, and inspire world leaders to do the same, the urgency of setting ambitious targets for all of humanity would not have been recognised, national interests would have prevailed and the most ambitious climate agreement to date would not have been delivered.

True leadership involves being grounded through our strong foundation, while being empathetic through our softer side. It is about owning both sides, demonstrating them each day at work, and using them to generate the change and leadership our companies (and the world) need. 

Gaia van der Esch is an executive, policy expert and author of Leading Our Way: How Women are Re-Defining Leadership