Even Bradley Cooper can’t carry off this men’s fashion look

“PLEASE don’t wear those.”

I know it’s not my place to tell my husband what to wear – it’s not as though I’m exquisitely turned out – but you have to draw the line somewhere.

He’s become inseparable from a pair of leather flip-flops. I can hear them flip-flopping around the house, in the kitchen, along the hallway, up the stairs…even when he’s outside – I can hear the leather slapping the flesh of the heel, flip, flop, flip, flop. It’s driving me mad.

I wouldn’t care if they looked good, but they don’t. Men’s feet are not the most appealing part of the body – pale. often hairy, yeti-like: they don’t belong on public display. Especially not size 12s like my husband’s.

As far as I can remember, flip-flops have never made a mark in the fashion stakes. But this summer they’ve been highlighted as a top seasonal trend, thanks in part to A-list stars including Bradley Cooper and Jonathan Bailey heading out in them. ‘The long-held perception on flip-flops has started to shift,’ says men’s style magazine Valet. ‘Today’s flip-flops are more refined, often made from premium materials and designed with a streamlined silhouette that elevates them from dorm-room default to genuinely stylish summer essential.’

I’ve just Googled Bridgerton actor Jonathan wearing his and – A-list or not – it ain’t a good look. Bradley’s aren’t as close up, but even pictured from afar, they don’t do much for him either. Whoever is wearing them you still get a set of prehensile toes sticking out of a trouser leg.

To give them a leg-up in the fashion stakes, flip-flops are now being called thong sandals, which is hardly the most appealing name, and some of them have a gap, like a small inlet, between the big toe and the others. Even the gloriously beautiful feet of Michelangelo’s David couldn’t give a good spin on these things.

Bradley Cooper has been spotted wearing flip-flops, boosting their image. Picture: Ian West/PA

To my mind, flip-flops – both for men and women – belong on the beach. I’ve worn many a pair at Sandsend, those think plastic ones where you can feel the pain of every pebble as you hobble towards the sea. But I haven’t worn them beyond the shoreline of this country for a reason – they don’t look great on women either. I once went to an event at a local secondary school and the teacher giving the talk was perched on a stool wearing flip-flops – it’s not just about how it looked, I also thought it far too casual for the occasion.

Aesthetics aside, flip-flops were certainly the wrong choice of footwear for my husband to help break up a neighbour’s shed.

So I insisted he remove them, and he did, but what did he change into? Not a pair of sturdy boots, but sandals.

Sandals aren’t a great look for blokes either. You still get the knobbly toes poking out of trousers. They look slightly better worn with shorts, but only slightly.

Thankfully, he doesn’t own a pair of the most grotesque footwear known to mankind – sliders. Now these ugly slip-ons are the pits. They are as elegant as a surgical boot. Bizarrely, they are often worn with socks, which looks comical.

It’s okay at home, I guess, but when out and about – in the office, at the supermarket, at the cinema, in restaurants and cafes – do we want to see one another’s feet? Whatever the weather, we really should keep them under wraps.